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Huzzah! I'm B. Welcome to the little corner of the interwebs known as my blog. Expect sarcastic remarks, overuse of adjectives, attempts at wit, thrilling tales of ineptitude, and general musings on life as I know it.

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31 August 14
I don’t think anyone here’s that uptight… Except maybe B.
— I practically snorted.  Friendship, you guys.
29 August 14

These Aren’t Related.

  • Let us rejoice that my lips no longer look like the subject of a Botox gone wrong segment on Today Tonight, what with the combination of inflammation and slathered Vaseline I’ve had going on for the last few weeks.  I can smile without part of my face stinging now.  It’s great.
  • I don’t know, I got a bit of a kick out of driving through the rain tonight?  At the first stretch of road where the water got pretty deep and started splashing the side windows, I let out this weird, involuntary giggle-shriek.  Like a little kid.  As one does.  God, I’m so lame.
23 August 14

(via monodoh)

Reblogged: monodoh

21 August 14

Context Clues.

I’m sure I pulled the weirdest face at the man on the bus who complimented me on my shoes ('Nice boots.') and the girl behind the counter at the bakery who commented on my baked goods preferences ('You like the sweet buns.').  It took me way longer than it should have to register that neither of them were, in fact, saying creepy things to me.

17 August 14

Queen B.

'B…  Every time I say your name, I think of Beyoncé.’

I obviously pointed out I’m significantly less fabulous, but that was easily the highlight of an otherwise shit week, both for dumb headspace reasons and on a wider, the world is a terrible fucking place scale.

12 August 14

"I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people."

Robin Williams, July 21st, 1951 - August 11th, 2014

Reblogged: sulietsexual

11 August 14
Got a good chuckle out of the birthday card a friend got for me.

Got a good chuckle out of the birthday card a friend got for me.

8 August 14

(via veepgifs)

Reblogged: veepgifs

Tags: Veep
6 August 14

Did Not Expect That.

Zen is not normally a feeling I get when I sit down for a meal like a person does, but sitting having lunch looking out over the city the other day, downwind from a not terrible busker, and blissfully alone on the terrace for at least a solid twenty minutes before the parade of obnoxious business bros stepping out to eat, was maybe the emptiest my head’s been of late, so I’m just not going to question it, because man, did it feel nice to have that holy mess die down for a bit.

Posted: 10:20 PM

(via slayerage)

Reblogged: slayerage

Themed by Hunson. Originally by Josh